


stalking (to protect) you

by Beanus



Series: finally found you [5]
Category: Epithet Erased (Cartoon)
Genre: "who are these weird goblins following molly", Fluff and Humor, Gen, by babies, dixon cameo, feenie is a lovable moron, i just have this thing for lovable idiots alright, nosy friends, stalking for babies, still lovable though, sylvie once again playing THAT guy, trix holds the braincell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:48:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22839583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beanus/pseuds/Beanus
Summary: "I-I mean, you find it pretty weird that my cousin and a famous kid doctor are tailing her? Don't you wanna find out if she knows? If she's okay with it?"Trixie and Phoenica notice that Molly is hanging out with some weird people nowadays. As her best friends, they naturally decide to take things into their own hands and become silent protectors, watching these mysterious miscreants from the shadows. At least, that was the idea.
Relationships: Molly Blyndeff & Bellatrix "Trixie" Roughhouse, Molly Blyndeff & Giovanni Potage, Molly Blyndeff & Percival "Percy" King, Molly Blyndeff & Phoenica "Feenie" Fleecity XV, Sylvester "Sylvie" Ashling & Molly Blyndeff
Series: finally found you [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565068
Comments: 16
Kudos: 192





	1. a plan cake

**Author's Note:**

> Hi wow college is suffering. Interesting suffering, but boy does it sap the life and vitality from you. I've been away for quite some time, so sorry for rough patches! 
> 
> Story won't be long, I expect 3-4 chapters, this doc has actually been sitting in the incubator for like weeks now since I was super insecure and indecisive, but I didn't wanna start messing it up so here it is!

Sometimes it really sucked to be Bellatrix "Trixie" Roughhouse for a whole lot of reasons. Maybe it was because a bunch of ghosts kept hanging around her when she never asked for them, doing generally spooky things like knocking things over, going 'OoooOOo' when she was trying to sleep, and recounting in a horrible detail the circumstances of their untimely demise. Maybe it was because of her weird family, which included a street punk and a crackpot conspiracy theorist, not believing that she was haunted. They all had their justifications on why she was a anxious wreck, but they never once entertained the reasons coming from her own lips.

Didn't she matter? Wasn't she part of this family? Why was Dixon allowed to cover his room in cigarettes and flow charts but she wasn't allowed to **fear the paranormal?!**

...

This got off track a little.

Maybe it was because one of her best friends was being stalked by weird men at the aquarium, one of those men being her cousin Giovanni and famous therapist Sylvester Ashling. Which should've alleviated some of her concern, but really did not. What did they want with Molly? Did they know her? Do they _want_ to know her?

The more she laid in bed thinking about it, the deeper the rabbit hole went, the more her anxiety threatened to swallow her whole. The voices in her head certainly weren't helping, either.

_'I should've never tried to toast stuff in the bathroooooom...'_ an errant spirit wailed, looking particularly crispy.

_'You don't get superpowers from radiatiooooOOoon...'_ another ghost sobbed, looking as unnaturally lumpy in death as it probably did in life.

_'I'm not even dead, just trying out this Ouija board with my pals from Minnesota, and I gotta say the reception is_ _amazing! Wait, we're in a little girl's room. I SWEAR, this isn't what you might think it is!'_

Trixie shuddered and abruptly got up, realizing that she wouldn't be getting anywhere into this nap for now.

"Y'know what...? I-I'm just gonna grab Feenie, and we're gonna work through this. Maybe I'm just worried about nothing, aheheh..."

Leaving her room after haphazardly throwing some outside clothes on, she briefly passed by Dixon's room. As he was the only (debatable) adult around, she might as well let him know she was leaving.

"Hey Dixon, going out!"

_"Where?"_ a raspy, goblin-like voice seeped from the door.

"Um, Feenie's...?"

"Straight into the lap of the bourgeoisie, hah? This is...no, wait...good, good, we may need a mole...wait, are you using," she heard something slam against the door, probably his face. "PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?!"

"Uh, y-yeah?"

"BLISS OCEAN!" he screamed, and Trixie could almost hear the foam coming out of her brother's mouth. "THEY CONTROL THE GOVERNMENT! THE INVISIBLE HAND! THE BUSES YOU RIDE ARE LINED WITH EVIL! TRUST **NO ONE!** "

"I-I'M LEAVING NOW!" she shrieked, dashing down the stairs towards the door.

"BUSHIDO BLASTERS! TOILET APPLES! **BLISS OCEAN!** IT'S ALL CONNECTED, TRIXIE!" Dixon maniacally cackled.

* * *

Phoenica was having quite an action-packed day.

She had decided to use the Internet today, and went to her usual hangout: the homepage of Google.

"Excuse me Sir Google, I would like to know how to better connect to my friends. I believe that they are going through great hardship, and would be thankful of any assistance in the matter."

...

No response, as always. She had heard from the grapevine that this mythical creature held an unrivaled library of information, but she could not get it to open up to her. Even that one time when she engaged in **naughty activities** such as bribery did not work on the Google, for it ignored her attempts to throw money at it.

At least it held to its morals. She could respect that.

"Take your time," she said kindly. "I understand that you can be quite busy."

"Erm, excuse my boldness, my lady...but I've been calling for about ten minutes now?"

Phoenica turned to the door, smiling brightly at the young servant who was apparently watching her the entire time.

"Wouldn't using the keyboard be a good idea to, well...type your queries out?"

She blinked, looking down at the keyboard lazily shifting through the colors of the rainbow and pretty much instantly getting entranced. It was hypnotic, how it flowed through each color as if drifting down a lake without rhyme or reason, as if beckoning her to disrupt the natural order...

How... _fascinating_...

"Erm...my lady?"

Phoenica snapped out of her latest trance with an elegant "buh?".

"Is the keyboard too distracting?"

"Nope. I have most definitely not stared at the keyboard for hours at a time either."

The servant blinked, probably not as surprised as he should be. "Have you _done_ anything on that computer, my lady? _"_

She put up a single finger. "Install updates."

"Okay."

Another finger. "Open the Google."

"Alright?"

A third finger. "Download more RAM."

"Checks out with- wait, _what._ "

Phoenica tilted her head at his incredulous face. Of the few times she was actually led to a part of the Internet, she was offered this 'RAM' thing for her computer by a friendly advertisement. It sounded like the writers knew what they were talking about and she certainly didn't, so if they said downloading and installing the RAM was a good idea, then it was a good idea.

Granted, she still didn't know what it was supposed to do. Other than ask for her credit card and flash other advertisements, some of which were of the...lewd variety. She didn't look at those...for _too_ long. It was just a peek, she swears. The textbook images for the human body aren't that detailed and she just needed a more in-depth illustration.

Yeah, that's it.

"My lady, I apologize for my boldness, but you do know that is pretty much _the_ prototypical Internet scam, right? You can't just download space for your computer, it's...illogical? You just installed a virus."

"...I what?"

Running a hand over his face, the unnamed servant sighed. "I will make sure to give you lessons on the Internet whenever I get the okay from your parents, my lady. Hmm, oh! In other news, your friend, Lady Roughhouse, has come over to discuss something most urgent with you."

Phoenica clapped her hands together, beaming at the thought of a surprise visit. "Goodie! Ah, please let her know she can enter my room! Oh, and do bring us some tea and pastries, Trixie must be famished after a long journey."

"As you wish, Lady Fleecity."

* * *

"Uh, hey, thanks for the warm welcome on such a short notice..."

Phoenica waved her off, popping another cookie in her mouth. If Trixie said it was urgent, then it was urgent. Everything else would just simply have to wait.

"Suh," she mumbled, having fit around thirteen of the small cookies in her mouth and showing no signs of slowing down. "Tuh whht hff yh cmme her frr?"

"Uh," Trixie responded dumbly. "You...do you want to, um, swallow first or..."

"Mmm...mmhm."

Clenching her jaw shut with an audible cracking noise, Phoenica delicately picked up her teacup and took a sip before swallowing the entire cookie-and-tea mass down in one go. Trixie, caught between awe and disgust, simply opted not to say anything at all and sip her tea.

"Ahhh...that was splendid! Now, where was I...oh yes. What do you need to tell me, Trixie?"

"Well, I've thought of a way we could get to the bottom of the whole Molly thing."

"Do tell!"

"We just go up...'n ask her."

"Eh?"

Trixie leaned back in her seat, playing with her fingers. "I-I mean, you find it pretty weird that my cousin and a famous kid doctor are tailing her? Don't you wanna find out if she knows? If she's _okay with it?_ "

It was the simplest solution, Phoenica could admit that. But what if the plain solution...wasn't the right one at all? She'd read plenty of novels where the greatest failings were ones rooted in simplicity, where the lack of detail left unchecked variables run rampant. Trixie's idea wasn't bad, per se, it was just uneducated.

Now it was all a matter of persuading her otherwise.

"Trixie, that idea is bad and dumb, but it is okay because I am not dumb!" Perfect!

Trixie's crestfallen expression, however, indicated that the persuasion attempt was far from perfect. "W-What...?"

"Sun Tzu's famous military treatise, _The Art of_ _War_ , states that in order to successfully wage and win conflicts a commander must analyze their enemies and their environment to create a plan that is not only tailor-made, but flexible," Phoenica prattled on. "Therefore, we cannot simply _ask_ Molly her thoughts on the matter! _We_ must observe Molly, and the weird men who are doing the same. In order to confront them, we get into their heads and create a plan of attack from then," she finished, letting out a triumphant huff. If Phoenica had to be honest, it was one of her better plans, and it was all in service to one of her dearest friends!

This was an absolute win!

"Y-You callin' me dumb...?" Trixie growled, completely failing to be intimidating with her teary-eyed pout.

"Heavens, no!" the magical girl gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. "You are most certainly not dumb! I just said that your plan is dumb! And since you made...said...plan..."

...

A couple of dusty plugs in Phoenica's head connected as she mulled over that particular train of thought.

"Oh. Oh dear."

This was most certainly _not_ an absolute win!

Trixie shrunk in on herself. "Whatever, i-it's fine. I don't _really_ care about it..."

Phoenica racked her brain for a saving throw. This was not her intention at all! Trixie was one of her best friends; she was small, she was adorable, she taught her not to talk or hand hundreds of dollars to the weird men who smelled like alcohol on the street, and she spoke to _ghosts_! Granted, she wasn't too happy about the last thing, but it was still a skill! She just had to convey that in a way that wasn't...her! Because for some reason, she always got something wrong when she was speaking like Phoenica!

If she had to throw away her pride to gain her best friend's forgiveness, so be it!

"You are, uhhh...totally rad to be hanging with. I," Phoenica pointed to herself. "Love you," she then pointed to Trixie.

"...Thanks?"

"Yes- up. Yup. It was not 'tubular' of me to call you dumb, 'dude'. You know what they- _we,_ us- say, 'kiss your homies goodnight'. We good, in the...hood? Uh..."

Phoenica trailed off, brain almost short-circuiting as it attempted to reformat to a hipper lexicon. Thankfully, an awkward spout of cough-giggling interrupted her meltdown, and she looked up to see that it was Trixie's, covering her mouth with her overly-long sleeves.

"I get the message, you big dork," Trixie sent a smile towards her friend to show that she meant no harm. "Look, how's about we mix the plans together? Like...a plan cake."

"Ooh!" Phoenica clapped. "Cake is a friends thing, and we're friends! Let us commence with the mixing and forget that earlier sequence ever happened!"

"Uh, yeah. Let's do this thing for Molly's sake!"

* * *

Molly sneezed, causing Sylvie and Percy to look at her curiously from their positions at the cart.

"O-Oh, I'm fine guys, just sorta felt that creep up on me."

"If you require tissues, I always carry some on my person," Percy helpfully supplied, scanning over the cans of Scam, premium(?) mysterious canned meat, with the eyes of a hawk.

"Percy, you are not buying that," Sylvie deadpanned, glancing over at the cans with an air of disgust. "The ingredients section literally just lists 'meat' and that's...it? Who knows what sick, twisted diseases live on that filth?!"

"But it is packed to the brim with carbohydrates..."

"Yeah, and those are found in fruits, grains, vegetables, and milk products. You know, food groups that _aren't meat!_ "

She let out a small huff. "I see. I apologize, Dr. Ashling, it seems that this field of expertise is currently beyond me."

"Once we get some real meals in you, it'll come naturally," Molly sighed, patting the police lady on the arm. "Sylvie, since you know a lot about food 'n stuff, why don't you pick something out?"

"Oh, sure! We'll try some leafy greens first. Not to brag or anything," Sylvie smirked, puffing his chest out. "But I've been kinda getting into kale recently."

Percy raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating. I have heard that there are many health benefits in the consumption of kale, a staggering 10 if the Internet is to be believed. How is the experience?"

"Beefton hates it with a burning passion and as I have skipped my rebellious teenage years I currently revel in his misery."

Molly's eyebrows scrunched together. "...Okay then."


	2. covert ops(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phoenica and Trixie go deep undercover to observe the targets. Naturally, it doesn't last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I have been gone for a while, but I'll explain what's going on at the end of the chapter. Good to be back!

"Hello there! I would like to peruse your establishment for an indeterminate amount of time!"

Molly could say nothing as she stared at someone who was definitely not Phoenica barge into the toy store. Her(?) style was not something Molly could accurately pin down: a tweed jacket, bowler hat and knickerbockers screamed 'grandpa' and 'spot of tea' while the gigantic grey mustache covering her lips screamed 'comedy routine'.

But she couldn't be rude to a customer on a weekday.

"Uh, okay. I can help you look for stuff."

Phoenica(?) blinked confusedly. "I believe this is the part where you, who is most confounded by my brilliant disguise, ask who I am."

Molly sighed fondly. It might have been work hours, but it felt as though forever had passed since she was able to hang out and goof around with her school friends. Not like business was booming today anyway.

"Alright then, mystery person," she began cheerfully. "What's your name and why are you wearing a disguise?"

"Buh? That wasn't the question I- er, I-I mean, um, who's wearing a disguise?" the mysterious person harrumphed, their mustache slightly falling off. "I think it is most unpleasant to assume things about a fine gentleman such as I! Baron Hammerfist Flintlock!"

"Oh, my apologies then sir Flintlock," Molly simpered, shooting a look at the desperate individual next to them crossing their arms and mouthing 'NO'. "I'll move on then. Is the lovely lady in the corner over there with you too?"

And how lovely she was indeed. Molly had no idea how long Phoenica had spent on preparing Trixie for this little game, but it was probably way above necessary. The dark purple dress had more frills and ribbons than the shop's dolls, and her hair had been transformed from its unruly curls to a straight, refined look that somehow covered just the right amount of forehead. Heck, she even had a _bonnet_ , and Molly wasn't quite sure what price Phoenica had to pay to get their tomboyish friend into it.

Her tomato-red face and sharp-toothed snarl ruined the whole image, but then again it wouldn't quite be Trixie without them.

"That ravishing missus over there is my jewel," the jewel in question choked on air, "my darling flower, Mary Spectrepants. But I must warn you, miss cashier I have never met before in my life, this flower is none other than the Atropa belladonna! Deadly as she is beautiful! What say you, my dear honeysuckle?"

"I _loathe_ you."

"Indubitably!"

Stifling a snort and gracefully failing, Molly went to a nearby rack and started stocking them with plushies. "Feel free to stay around then, maybe buy a toy or two to help the common folk."

"I believe that would be a good idea, yes," Phoenica hummed, stroking her mustache as she made a big show of looking over the toys. "Only the finest wares for our seven children."

" _Seven-_ "

"Seven?" Molly raised an eyebrow, politely pretending not to notice Trixie's vague strangling motions towards Phoenica's neck.

Surprisingly, the taller girl just shrugged. "We got busy," she said, and before anyone else could respond the doors of the Blyndeff Toy Emporium swung open once more to reveal some familiar faces.

"And _that_ is my thesis on how rum was _scientifically proven_ to power up pirates during their war with the ninjas. Any questions for ol' Teach?"

"...I'll be honest, when you got to the mechanics of ninja stars being fired out of a blunderbuss I instinctively tuned your voice out," Sylvie deadpanned, smirking at Giovanni's indignant sputters. The pair walked further in and made themselves comfy on a couple of bean bags in the corner, which a certain gentleman made sure to take note of.

"That was only the coolest part, but fine! _Whatever!_ Your loss when pirates resurface from the depths of the ocean and you are, once again, _completely useless!_ "

"Giovanni, they were humans. Humans die. Also, what was that about being useless?"

"That's just what they want you to think...oh, and on that last point, I exercise my right to remain silent."

Eyes dead, Sylvie turned to Molly and waved. "Hey, sorry we didn't greet you earlier, good to see someone with a brain around here."

Molly rolled her eyes, but her wide grin betrayed her true feelings towards the two boys. "I dunno, Sylvie, maybe you're being a bit too hard on him. Maybe we could learn a couple of things from the ninja-pirate war."

Ignoring Sylvie's 'not you too,' Giovanni cackled. "FINALLY, someone who gets what I'm laying down!" He shot her a pair of finger guns. "I mean, we both knew that Bea- ah, uh, _Molly_ , is totally cool and smart regardless, but..."

Sylvie sank into his bean bag and crossed his legs. "Guess we're starting...Minion Appreciation Hour...a little earlier today, huh?"

"Excuse you, _every hour_ is good to be a MAH. Now let's commence with the standard warmup!"

Molly blushed, waving her hands. "G-Guys, we got company..."

As if suddenly realizing that, the two looked over at the corner where an oddly-girl gentleman was alternating between watching them like a hawk and whispering to his elegant lady, who was looking as if she would've liked to be anywhere else.

"Those guys? Eh, they look pretty average and inconspicuous to me."

Both Molly and Sylvie had to shoot a look at Giovanni.

"...What? Something on my face?"

* * *

"They do not know!"

Phoenica giggled into her sleeve, waggling her eyebrows at Trixie conspiratorially. The shorter girl predictably did not return the gesture.

"Okay, there is no way Molly doesn't know it's us, Feenie!"

"Trixie, you are my friend, I value your opinion," she began, giving Trixie a tender look that made the girl's eye twitch. "but I really do think I'd notice if Molly was, say, playing along and pretending that we are the people our disguises make us to be under the belief that we are playing an elaborate game with her. Really..." Phoenica laughed. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

Making a weird gargling noise, Trixie brought her face into her hands and slowly dragged them down with a deep exhale. It took a herculean effort not to react to Phoenica dutifully fixing her bonnet after the action.

She knew Phoenica didn't mean it, that the girl was actually really sweet, selfless, and generous.

But by _God_ was she stupid.

"Okay...alright...everything is cool."

"That's the spirit!"

"All we need to do is sit here and watch them."

"Ahuh."

"Make sure they aren't weird guys who have weird plans for Molly, yeah?"

"Sounds right to me."

"And _that's it_ , right?" Trixie stressed. "We don't need to talk, or-or say weird things about h-honeysuckles and...'getting busy' to have seven kids?"

Phoenica hummed. "Going by your train of logic, I guess we don't."

"Cool, alright," Trixie sighed. "I'm not really...into this whole acting thing, so let's keep it a little less...extra?"

Phoenica nodded. "I'll make sure to honor your wishes," she whispered, placing her hand on Trixie's shoulder and giving it a squeeze. For a second, Trixie looked into those innocent eyes and believed her.

"Hey!" Giovanni shouted to the pair, eyes the size of dinner plates. "You two have _seven kids_ _?!_ "

"Yeah!" Phoenica shouted back. "As you common folk are wont to say, my wife is a 'real trooper'! A womb that will not quit!"

"Okay, I'm done."

Phoenica squinted, fixing Trixie with an incredulous look. "No, I believe you are Mary-"

Smiling brightly, Trixie reached up and ripped the mustache off of her friend's face with a loud and painful tear. She heard a few hisses, someone muttering something about a marital spat, but Trixie had honestly reached the apex of embarrassment where everything was ephemeral and, in the end, nothing mattered.

It was still like that even after what she did. Trixie knew it was bad of her to do that, that the feeling of triumph would eventually fade to guilt.

But it felt just a bit good to hear Phoenica's pained scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I've been dealing with COVID-19 crisis fairly well, but my college life has certainly taken an uncertain dive. Been worrying about that for the last couple of months alongside a bunch of other things, so I've been in general feeling drained. Now that the semester is over, however, I get a bit more time to myself, which means more time to get my affairs in order and write a little more!
> 
> No promises on timing, of course, but it really has been great to flex the writing muscles again if that makes any sense. It took me a bit to re-acclimate to writing Feen and Trixie again, so I hope it was consistent with last chapter (even though this chapter was heavy dialogue). I know I had a good chuckle writing it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again, thanks for reading! Still hope I got a handle on Trix and Feen's characters, you were all such massive helps in SYSU's comment section so I can only pray I didn't bungle it all up during the time I was away! I'd love to hear your feedback, so don't forget to leave a comment if you've got anything to say. Even if I don't respond, I read them all!


End file.
